meow bitch

apatheticghost:

yes i have job experience

image

via / reblog / 104662 notes

fasterfood:

imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine

via / reblog / 198743 notes

sirlightbulb:

55mph:

sirlightbulb:

What do you call a dead text post?

any of yours

A text ghos-

Excuse me?

via / reblog / 309367 notes

dogapult:

how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”

via / reblog / 230137 notes

coolbloqqer:

hot people are so lucky im so pissed

via / reblog / 281261 notes

timeywimeyhobbit:

why does my body keep  producing acne why can’t you focus on more important things like growing wings or making me hot 

via / reblog / 561591 notes

godnibblets:

I can’t begin to tell you how much I love the acting in gay porn.


via / reblog / 306755 notes
norcalchicana:

George Lopez doesn’t give two fucks about you.

norcalchicana:

George Lopez doesn’t give two fucks about you.

via / reblog / 252940 notes